25 Things That Soul Hates About Facebook
by All-American Anteater
Summary: Because we all know that Facebook has some faults. Do not read if you love Facebook. This was made purely for fun and comedy.


**A warning to Facebook lovers: DO NOT READ IF YOU LOVE FACEBOOK! You have been warned. And if you flame me because of this, then you will get a well civilized letter saying 'Shame on you' right back.**

**Disclaimer- I do not own Soul Eater OR Facebook! I also don't own Julian Smith's video, which is what I based the story off of. His videos are awesome! :D**

* * *

**1. 25 Things Notes**

What about those twenty-five things notes people are doing? Those are pretty dumb.

This is Soul Eater Evans, and these are my 25 things that I hate about Facebook.

**2. Poking**

It gets really irritating when someone won't stop poking you. Like in this instance right here:

**XxXxX**

Soul is looking at his iPhone, scrolling through Facebook. Maka is observing the room around her with a mischievous look on her face. She then looks at Soul and pokes him.

"Okay, why did you do that?" Soul asks with an annoyed expression on his face.

"Because it's fun." Maka said with a look on her face that clearly stated, '_Well duh!'_

"It's fun? You're really enjoying this?"

"Well, yeah."

"Okay then." Soul then proceeds to poke Maka back.

"Thank you!"

"Cool, so we're done with this."

Maka then pokes Soul _again _with a triumphant grin.

"Okay, you know what? I'm going to delete you off of my friends list right now."

Maka glares at him and then Maka Chops him to the floor.

"Or not, it's totally your decision."

**XxXxX**

See? It can even be deadly!

**3. Too Many "Happy Birthday" Wall Posts**

Huh, it's my birthday. I wonder if Maka made me that chocolate cake I wanted. I wonder if- holy crap, I have 2,000 notifications!

They all say happy birthday… I have to respond to these? Maybe I can just blow them all off…

**4. Compare People App**

The compare your friends app! _Really!_

**5. Pillow Fight Requests**

I really don't understand this one. *Thud* Wow, that was _so_ much fun.

Let's have _another_ virtual pillow fight!

**6. Facebook Chat**

I don't really hate Facebook chat, but it can be annoying in some instances, like this one:

**XxXxX**

"Hey Soul, remember me from second grade? I was the one who spilled red paint all over you!" Kilik said with enthusiasm.

_Maybe if I ignore him, he'll go away-_

"Hey man, are you there?"

_Oh great._

**7. Gifts**

*Ding!* One of your friends has sent you a gift!

Great, it's a lollipop. What exactly am I suppose to do with it? …Thanks Patty.

**8. Abusing Status Updates**

Sometimes we have someone that just posts _way_ too many status updates. Like this person right here:

**XxXxX**

Liz: Paining my nails right now!

*Two minutes later*

Liz: Watching a totally awesome show right now!

*30 minutes later*

Liz: Getting ready to go to the mall!

**XxXxX**

Really, who cares?

**9. Really Old people on Facebook**

Old people on Facebook? There should be an age limit for that.

**XxXxX**

_What, Stein wants to be my friend on Facebook? That would be kind of awkward and that would DEFINITLY bring my cool level down. WAY down…_

**XxXxX**

It's even worse when they _deny _the friend request!

Seriously…

**10. Event Invites**

Or even better…

**11. Group Invites**

Doesn't it get aggravating when they, like, keep sending them? And they don't stop when you don't reply back and they just keep sending them?

**XxXxX**

"Yo Soul, want to be in my group?" Black*Star asked expectantly.

"Umm, no thanks man."

*A few moments later*

"Dude, wanna be in my group?"

"No."

*A few moments later*

"Dude, do you want to be in my group?"

Black*Star's persistence was starting to get on Soul's nerves. "No, I don't want to be in your group!"

"But it's really cool man!" Black*Star shouts. Soul just stomps out of the room, annoyed.

"But Soul, it's a penguin square dancing group!"

**12. Top Friend Drama**

Soul walks into a room with his four top friends, Black*Star, Death the Kid, Tsubaki, and Maka, standing with different poses. Black*Star doing a fist pump, Death the Kid doing some symmetrical pose, Tsubaki smiling politely, and Maka reading a book.

"I need to clean out my top friends, come here Black*Star." Soul grabs Black*Star and drags him to the back of the line.

"What? Soul, I thought I was number one! You can't do this!"

"Well you're number four now. You made me so mad." Soul then takes Maka out of the number four slot.

"What!" Dude, don't do this, I can be a better friend!"

"It's too late now. Submit." Black*Star went back to his original pose.

"Come here Maka." Soul drags Maka over to the number one slot.

"Am I number one? Am I number one?" Maka asks excitedly.

"Yes Maka, you're number one."

"YES!"

"Submit." Soul takes a step back and looks at the group. "That's better."

**13. Awkward Comments**

Like…

**14. Flair**

and…

**15. Bumper Stickers**

These seem like a complete waste of space to me.

**16. Detail Requests**

'How do you know this person?'

No one cares.

**17. Relative Requests**

If you want to be friends with a relative, wouldn't you just ask them?

**18. Bad Tagged Photos**

*Ding* So and so just tagged you in a picture.

**XxXxX**

"That is so disgusting. I am totally untagging myself." Liz is staring at a picture at herself snorting chocolate milk out of her nose. Then suddenly the picture disappears.

"That's much better!"

**19. "LOST PHONE" Facebook Exploitation**

Invitations from people who lost their phones and they need their friends' numbers again, but _you _have no need to give them your number? Isn't that annoying?

**XxXxX**

"Hey guys, I accidentally dropped my phone into the toilet and I need everyone's number!" Hiro was looking at Soul expectantly, "Quick, join the group! Join now!"

Soul looks at him weirdly, "Do… do I know you?"

**20. People You May (Not) Know**

Okay, so you know how on people you may know, there's always that one dude that you know for a fact you don't know and you never met them in any day of your life? But, they just _never_ go away?

I feel like we should all just go add that guy.

**21. Creepy Ads**

You know that one side of the window? I'm just going to put, like, a piece of duct tape over it because you got those really creepy ads that say, 'Hey, you wanna meat hot, Christian singles near you?' and you have that guy that has his shirt half way off and he's like, 'Hey, I'm a Christian, just spreading the love.'

What! I mean really, they could just jump out of the computer and grab Maka or something…

That would _not _be cool.

**22. Threads**

You send _one _comment to a group of people; you are notified every day, for the rest of your life whenever it gets commented on.

I don't know about you, but think that is _very_ annoying.

**23. Picture Shrinkage **(A/N: Sorry, this one wouldn't underline...)

How about when you go to look at someone's picture and you go to click on it to make it bigger, and it doesn't get any bigger! In fact, sometimes it gets, like, smaller!

Get rid of that crap.

**24. Picture Duplicates**

If you have more than one picture on your profile… why? What's the point in that?

**25. Facebook Relationship Gossip**

Finally, last and most definitly least, Facebook relationship gossip.

**XxXxX**

Black*Star and Kid are chatting over Facebook.

"Hey Kid, did you hear about Ox and Kim?" Black*Star asked excitedly.

"Why no, I have not! Black*Star, what's up?"

"Well dude, they're in a relationship! It's not _Facebook_ official yet, but it's real, man!"

Kid rolled his eyes at Black*Star's enthusiasm, "And how exactly, did you find out?"

"Liz told me and then Jackie told Liz. But don't tell anyone because it's a secret!" Black*Star whispered.

"I'm pretty sure all of Death City heard you already…"

**XxXxX**

Well, I'm Soul Eater Evans and these are my 25 Things That I Hate about Facebook.

What do you hate?

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**There, done. The last story I wrote was kinda depressing to me, so I made something to laugh at. **

**And please reveiw! It would make a certain someone very happy! :)**


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